Don’t Be A Poser… Drink These Beers Tomorrow…

Ireland is beautiful country. It’s rich with rolling green fields, grazing sheep, and automobiles hugging tight windy curves. There’s also bajillion little dreamy pubs, warm and cozy, where thirsty patrons congregate to drink, chat and listen to small three-piece bands comprised of a hand drum, violin and a guitar. And most importantly, they can drink Irish beer without irony on St. Paddy’s Day unlike the rest of us slobs. Here are seven of the best Irish beers that you can enjoy on March 17 without feeling like an imposter in bright green attire.

Smithwick’s Irish Ale

If you take one lesson rom this list, let it be this: this beer is pronounced Smitt’icks. Not Smith-wicks. Okay? Take a moment and just internalize that. Okay, got it? This ale is easy drinking and a favorite of Irish townspeople from Dublin to Killarney.

Murphy’s Irish Stout

When you think of a stout, you often think of something one step away from a rye loaf. But Murphy’s is softer, fluffy and sweet. While the brewery is considered one of the Big Three in Ireland, it’s making headway in the States.

Killian’s Irish Red

Originally brewed in Ireland in 1864, the beer is named after George Killian Lett. It’s a perfectly balanced red, dry with a kick of hops, that, when compared to most reds, leaves you satisfied and not thinking you just ate candy.

Irish Death

This one’s strong (7.8%). It has to be to live up to its playful name. This dark ale — is it more of a Stout? A Red Ale? Who cares, it’s delicious! — is just plain good. And while the beer isn’t from Ireland (it’s made by Iron Horse Brewery in Ellensburg, WA), it offers a loving nod to the world’s most renowned drinkers.

Harp Lager

Classic. Leave it to the Irish to create a delicious beer for the people. Harp is everywhere in Ireland and with good reason. It’s crisp, flavorful and damn near perfect.

Kilkenny Irish Cream Ale

Killkenney is one of those Irish towns with pubs on ever block and music flying out every window. The Irish Cream Ale is velvety and puts a smile on your face like a delicate violin solo.

Guinness

No surprise here. The world’s most famous Irish beer is dark, creamy but lighter in ABV (only 4.1%) and don’t let anyone else tell you it’s not! If you get a chance to travel to Dublin, check out the Guinness brewery. The top floor is a view to remember.

‘Game of Thrones’ Breaks A World Record With Their Season 5 Premiere Simulcast

Game of Thrones is verging on going beyond being a cultural phenomena and becoming iconic in TV history. The show has already won a ton of awards, broken more than a few ratings records, and has regularly shattered piracy numbers to become the most stolen show in the history of television three years running. HBO execs took the positive view that piracy only helps increase the show’s popularity, which will lead to more legal viewers, and it looks like they were right.

Now Guinness World Records have declared the Game of Thrones season five premiere to be the largest TV drama simulcast in history. The show made its debut in 173 countries at the same time, beating out former record holder CSI by two countries. Damn you, Albania and Vanuatu! You’re worse than Roose Bolton and Walder Frey.

Funny enough, it was as a result of the piracy that Game of Thrones won this record: HBO worked hard to make sure the show premiered on the same date in many countries so more people had the option to watch the show legally rather than download it. You may think big hit TV shows would get released around the world at the same time, but in truth other countries are often lucky to just be a season behind the U.S. – just another example of how responsive and fast moving the entertainment industry has been, and why Australians pirate everything.

If CSI decides they’re going to (*puts shades on*) demand trial by combat (*YEEAAAAHH*), I’m sure HBO will once again edge them out when the time comes for Game of Thrones season six to debut. There’s only another 23 countries to broadcast these shows in. Soon, the record will be held by whichever series won it just before rising oceans start swallowing countries. We will all look back at this record and say “I miss civilization and not dying of dysentery. Man, we were idiots back then. But we sure had some great TV.”

Florida Man Breaks a World Record by Opening 18 Beer Bottles With a Chainsaw in One Minute

Floridian John Nicholson scored his place in the Guinness Book of World Records (previously) by opening up 18 beer bottles with a chainsaw in the space of a minute. The sides of the bottle caps were carefully shaved on each bottle. Any that were chipped or knocked over in the process were disqualified from the final count.

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